Hold My Heart

I guess there are just gonna be days like this.  I have read too many blogs, my prayers seem to be not making it off my lap.  As badly as I want to wave T1D away or at least have a CGM that is more reliable.......But as soon as I get in the car I hear this song and am reminded that there is power bigger than me and  then there is this.....

Luke 6:38 ....Put Into Your Lap

Leah's employer, The Pit and the Peel, has graciously allowed her to put a jar on the counter to collect money for her dream of a diabetic alert dog.  Today as she sat eating in the juice bar/bistro a man walked over to her and asked, "is that your diabetic dog jar on the counter?"  When she said yes he told her that his son was also Type 1 and handed her $100.00.  Wow!  Just Wow!!

We are still talking to several different organizations to determine which will be the best match for a relationship with Leah in working with a Diabetic Alert Dog and we continue to raise funds for this purchase.  

Thanks for your support!

Luke 6:38  ....give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

Dex Day!

Faster than we ever imagined Leah got her dexcom G5 last night.  She was able to set it up, put it on and share with me this morning.  Lord have mercy we did raise one independent Rock Star!  I always knew that strong will would pay off in adulthood.  We are very proud of how well she has hit this curveball and run with it.

After the share feature was set up Leah sent  me a text that said

Rule #1No texting me freaking out about my blood sugars.

Recently I started following    beyondtype1.org in my social media.  In reading links in the web site I stumbled across this one
Emojis in Diabetes Management.  It is spot on with me and Leah!  We had already started using emojis!  So after that text I sent
it to her.  She likes the rules. :o)
                   

A Lovely Day for a Walk

Today I joined the First ever New River Valley JDRF Walk.  It was awesome to be part of the "First" walk in Blacksburg and to meet some new people.  

                                                          I walked with Sharon and the weather turned out nice!  (so glad the walk wasn't yesterday in the snow!)

The group was small but I am sure it will grow in the years to come.

Leah's Blacksburg Doctor was there.  He always makes me feel so much better! He is convinced there is a cure around the corner and that Leah is a Rock Star with how well she is managing!

Sharon and I walked and talked and reflected on raising children.  Driving home I started thinking about a CD that we just about wore out when Ryan and Leah were little called Scripture Rock.  I couldn't believe I found exactly the song on you tube that had popped in my head.  (coincidence?  I think not...)  This is my favorite scripture and brings back such sweet memories of driving my red Toyota Van around with babies in the back.   Parenting is such a challenge some days and parenting adult children is an adjustment.  Sometime ya just gotta Trust..... 

                              

Tas Philas and Tomato Stakes

I'm reminded of a song......

 there'd be days like this mama said...

What to do on the days that are just overwhelming?  

On this day I have stolen ipods from my classroom, end of quarter data due, report cards due and I'm taking calls from CGM manufactures and Insurance companies with 24 6/7 year olds at my feet.  As I jot down the figures of cost now,  cost per month, and then I watch the video for how to attach a little mechanical bug to ones abdomen.... the pressure in my chest is heavy.  It's too much for the oils to handle!  I begin to leak from my eyes.

I feel God holding me up. I know He's there but I'm so sad. So, so sad that all this is happening.
So sad for my baby Rae of Sunshine.... wishing and praying still that it will be lifted from her.  Still knowing that He will take her through it.    I am such a planner.  Obsessively so, some would say.  I didn't plan this. I didn't plan for this, and I don't want it for her.  Such a long term pain in the ***.

So what does one do when this happens?  A good cry,  some hot tea and a text message out to the group labeled "prayer warriors."

Many years ago my bible study group did a Beth Moore study called Living Beyond Yourself.  In this study Beth introduced us to Tas Philas- girlfriends=girlfriend love.   We took that idea along with another story we had heard about Tomato Stakes.  Sometimes there are "days like this" and we need the  "Tas Philas" to be our tomato stakes when we can't pray for ourselves, to hold us up when we have no power to stand on our own. We even had tee shirts made with tomato stakes and Tas Philas written under it.

It reminds me of when Moses had to have his arms held up because he realized as long as he did that the Israelites prevailed in battle but if he dropped his arms the battle would turn.  Exodus 17:12

I think it's a lesson in how much we need others.  How exhausting life is. How there will be days like this but hopefully not too many.  I am very thankful for my Tas Philas/Prayer Warriors.  I'm still sad and I know there will be more days like this and I know what I will do.

One of my Tas Philas' (Lil's mom) words..."I think I cried every day for the first year! It's okay and just how we cope some days.  Find some scripture to feed your soul and get some rest. It always helps!"

Inclusion Day @ McHarg

Inclusion Day @ McHarg

John 3:16 For God so loved (all) the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

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My first day back with kids today and it was a special day called "Inclusion Day".  We rotated through stations to experience music therapy, adaptive PE, Occupational Therapy tools in art class.  We also had two student ambassadors with disabilities  to share.   

My sweet (T1D) Lillee who was in my classroom several years ago taught in her mom's class about diabetes for Inclusion Day. She also came to my class to help me explain what happened to Leah and why I had to miss so many days of school.  (kind of another "God-incidence" that this was my first day back with them) They were sweet, interested and seemed very happy to have me back. (my co-teacher especially!)  Lil brought a water jug that she has put sharps in.  It is amazing to see.  Full of that many injections. .... but I have an oil for that !!!!

It was good to be back in my routine but I was still distracted most of the day.

We are in the process of talking to companies about a CGM (continuous glucose monitor).  The bad news is that it will interfere with her Fitbit (bluetooth) but we may have found a work around.
;o) thx Nana.....

I ran across this on Facebook. Amazing how  spot on this is only three week in..... 

Alone

Deuteronomy 4:9  Only take care, and  keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of you life.
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Alone- it keeps coming up but maybe not as you would think.

Yesterday(Saturday), I felt nudged to go to my friends church. But in the middle of the night I thought "I'm not going. I don't want to be alone in the middle of so many people".   This particular church has two services one at 9:00 and one at 11:00.  The 11:00 service is mostly college students.  It is when and where Leah went on and off with her Young Life group before she left for college. Around 10:00 I felt a STRONG nudge to go the the 11:00 service.   I asked God why?  I don't know anyone at that service, it will be all college students, Mark is out of town.  I don't want to go there alone.

I arrived at 10:50 because well you know.... on time is LATE!  but this church mingles and arrives late-ish.   Groups of college students stood in the outer area talking and drinking coffee.  I slowly wandered through them again asking God, why am I here, but feeling at peace that I had come.  I made my way into the sanctuary, which was mostly empty other than some preparations for the service. As I scanned the room wondering where to sit and thinking about "taking someone's pew", One of the elders/pastors of the church recognized me and stopped to chat.  He said "how's life?" I gave him a quick run down of the past three weeks and as he left me he said "you're not alone".   It gave me pause and all I could say was "yeah, alone is the thing...." (that keeps coming up) but I didn't finish that.    I found a seat and watched as all the college students came in.  I wondered if I was suppose to be here because I just wanted to see college students(?)  (grasping? maybe?) Another group of students walked up and entered the row in front of me.  One of them looked familiar, we smiled at each other and I didn't think much more of it as I sat in my row alone.

After announcements this church has a greeting time.  The familiar young man turns around, smiles and says "Hi, my name is T-----."  Well, all the pieces suddenly fall in place and I respond "Hi T----, I'm Leah's mom." T----- is Leah's roommate's brother with T1D.  He asks about her and we chat briefly.  He says to tell her "hi".  We worship together and hug goodbye at the end.  

I don't know really why I was nudged this way this morning.  I don't see a clear path or conclusion yet but I know I was supposed to go there at that time.  What are the chances that "T" would sit directly in front of me and be the only person to turn and greet me.  Coincidence?  I think not.

(By the way, right after the greeting some late arriving college students slipped in and ask if my row was taken, No I said, so my row became full ;o)

Sometimes, it seems we know exactly why God asks us to do something and sometimes......
I'm still puzzling this out and I may never know but what got written in my journal through this service is

In Christ alone,  Through Grace alone,   By the Spirit alone 

 we are called to be alone with Him.  

His still small voice is an echo on the wind, a whisper in the dark or a nudge that won't let up 

Sometimes we allow the many voices in life to drown out the only voice that really matters.... 

the voice of GOD.